Morning walk musings near Lake Wylie, SC...
I've been thinking a lot about change. Maybe not even thinking - to say I've been "feeling" a lot about change, would be better. Feeling a thrill and curiosity with exploring each new place... along with an underlying anxiety when faced with the thought of having to pick "just one" and "settle down". This whole East Coast "#theroadtohome" excursion we've been on has been the very symbol and experience of change. A changing point in our relationship and in our careers. Looking for a completely new place to live, which will mean a new way of life for J and I. I know a lot of performers go through feelings like this. And all against the backdrop of the Atlantic coast autumn - making change seem breathtaking, colourful, and even effortless. Oh Mother Nature - you have so much to teach me!
For sure, at times out on the road, J and I are wondering what the hell we are doing and if we are even going in the "right" direction. Whatever "right" means ↔️↕️. I'm grateful that we both have a very natural understanding that what is "right" for others/society isn't necessarily what will work for us. Our lives to this point have been so far away from the norm that we know that we must march to the beat of our own (organic) drum. Not that there aren't heaps of pressures from many directions (mainly our own struggling minds) to do one thing or another.
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| Maple saplings |
Anyways, I went for a walk this morning. It was early and J was still snuggled in bed. A few walking paths through a big open field, bordered with bits of forest and small peeks at the lake in the distance. And I noticed the ground was covered in tiny little maple trees. Not ones planted by humans, but ones growing by their own will. Just little 8-10" saplings with their leaves red and orange and yellow, making the paling yellow grass look brighter with their presence. I wonder if many of them will survive the winter... then I remembered that we are in South Carolina and that this is probably about as much chill as they will have to weather. Lucky lil maples.
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| Learning a thing or two |
And then I came across a grandfather tree. Big and strong; I have no doubt his roots run deep. A thriving member of his field-community, thick vines climb high on his trunk, and soft green mosses snuggle his base. And it hits me. Change takes time. Sometimes A LOT of time. It's so easy to forget it in this society of instant connection to everything and everyone. We are not just accustomed, but expecting that everything in our lives should happen fast. But reality just isn't so, and it's so easy to forget it! Those saplings will not be giants in the spring... Or for many springs to come. And watching the saplings grow, we may not notice changes day to day or week to week. Just as we won't "figure out" life with one big decision. But, over time, looking back at a season, a year, or a decade....The changes and transformations will be outstanding, sometimes impossible to conceive where we began, or where we were along the way. It will be possible to see our progress; to notice the growth we have gained from even our biggest setbacks, or especially from our biggest setbacks! With a keen eye we will see where the magic was unfolding, unbeknownst to us at the time.
Today's lessons? Change is inevitable. Patience is golden... The seasons they will come and go. And me? I will strive to grow wherever I am.
With love,
Steph xx
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| "For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it's insides come out, and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction." ~ Cynthia Occelli |
